I’m not sure why I like staying up online later than the average normal population, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that once it hits around 3 or 4 am, I start finding myself reading the weirdest shit ever, even for me. And that’s saying something.
According to Criminal Minds, this also seems to be exactly the time serial killers who like to peel the skin off your face or cut off your fingertips and feed them to you thrive. Just remember that correlation doesn't prove causation.
Anyway. Because 4:16 am is as good of a time as any to find out what your inner food is...a quick quiz on youthink and...
Salad. A green salad. Are you kidding me? Salad is for rabbits. I haven’t had a salad in at least 4 months, and I’m starting to feel a little bad for depriving my inner soul (is that redundant?) now. But not too much.
And because it only follows that you need to know your inner animal as well, I proceed to take “What your inner animal?”
And I’m all, yeah, this is gonna be so much better than finding out I’m a salad.
...because I’m a rabbit. Oh god. I totally jinxed myself. Is this even possible? Could I be a lamer animal?
It turns out...I can. Determined to show the internet/world/universe what’s what, I looked up a different inner animal quiz, because yes, I will take them until I find an animal I actually like.
Second time around, and I’m a fucking guinea pig. Okay internet. You win...this time. I’m going to sleep a bit less self-satisfied than when I woke up.
I thought about it, and I guess a rabbit/guinea pig isn’t so bad. I could have been like a opossum playing dead all the time. At least rabbits move. It’s all a matter of perspective, you see.
Actually, if you put those together, I’m a rabbea. Or a rabbig. If that doesn’t sound pretty badass, I don’t know what does.
I just realized I could also be a guibbit. And that sounds horribly like giblet.
I think I’ll just stick to rabbig.